Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
