Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
