He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
