apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ladies don't puke and tell
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
