Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
