i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize