the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
