I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
