Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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