It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i barfeds in our rink
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
