just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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