...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
