ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize