my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
