Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
