i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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