alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
