You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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