haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
