Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
