i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
