no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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