I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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