he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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