we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
