you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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