Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
