You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
