We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
