Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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