he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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