I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
