god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
