i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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