i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
