I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i think i just lost a toe
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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