shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
