And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize