She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize