Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize