The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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