i may or may not be watching the land before time
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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