i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
