god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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