fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We need to get me chipped asap
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize