Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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