why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
