fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize