There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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