So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
