Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
