Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
