my mouth tastes like poor choices
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
