its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
