She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
