dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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