I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
