This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
