South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
