My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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